5 Reasons Facebook is Stupid

I'm thinking this post probably gets me the same level of scorn that my post on cell phones did, but I don't care. A man must hold true to his beliefs. And me...I believe Facebook is stupid.

1. It's slowly replacing blogging, but doesn't offer nearly as much.

Isn't blogging far better? I mean, I can go onto Cheeth or Mister J's blog, get an update on what they're up to, see pictures and read about what is important to them. In addition to providing a small window into their lives, this also allows me to experience a piece of their personality and be reminded why I like that person.

What does Facebook give you? A 2 inch picture, something someone you don't know wrote on their wall, and a bland status update like 'Mindi is sitting on her sofa clipping her toenails'.

It seems like people are blogging less. For instance, look at the blog roll on the right side of the screen. Perhaps down a little too. I'll bet you look at this at any give time and only one person will have posted in the last 3 days. Then there will be three who haven't in over a month.

A year ago it wouldn't have been this way. I blame apathy and Facebook. But mostly Facebook. Because I don't want to pick a fight with apathy.

2. Getting poked, likeness quizzes, pirate kidnappings, vampire blood lust invitations, body slams, 'Which Teletubbie Are You?' requests, Invitations to join the Michael Landon Fan Club, etc.

I don't feel I need to elaborate on this one. Other than to say I generally prefer not getting 'poked', in either a literal or virtual sense.

3. The excitement of finding an old friend, replaced by the dissapointment of realizing you have nothing to say to each other.

When I was first introduced to Facebook and hadn't yet learned how it works, I thought you used it to actually communicate with your friends. So I wrote a few 'How's it going? What are you up to?' e-mails to people I hadn't seen in a long time. I never heard back. I stopped writing them and eventually learned that that is how Facebook is supposed to work: Someone from 7th grade finds you, they add you as a friend, you confirm them and get a small link on the bottom of your page, then you both go about your lives with no further communication but a smug sense of accomplishment on having increased the number of friends you have on Facebook.

So now that I am well versed in Facebook protocol and know better, any message sent to me from an old time friend is met with a condescending shake of the head, the thought, 'They must be new to Facebook', and is promptly ignored.

4. Feeling obligated to write something clever in my status update every time I get on.

My solution to this is to not get on anymore.

5. I'm still not sure what it is.

Really. I don't get the point of it. Most people respond to this with, "It's a way to keep in touch with friends" but I feel this is inaccurate. A more fitting description would be "It's a good way to keep a small rectangular picture of people you used to know on an internet page".

I do have to give Facebook some props, though. For one, there are at least 40 people on there that I never would have found any other way, many that I had forgotten about. It does an exceptional job at helping you find old friends. There have also been some entertaining bouts of friendly banter with old friends initiated by a status update or profile change (though really nothing more than what happens in a blog comment box or on Yahoo Messenger). So there are some good things about it.

However, like a cranky old man stubbornly clinging to his VCR and 8-tracks, I am determined to shun Facebook in favor of blogging.

Gon farnit.