Baseball is far more boring than Soccer

So I'm getting more and more into soccer, or "football" as the rest of the world fittingly calls it. The biggest gripe most Americans seem to have against it is that no one ever scores, which in turn makes it boring. I disagree. At least there is constant action in soccer. You know what doesn't have constant action? Baseball.

Seriously, have you ever paid attention to what actually goes on in baseball? There's a pitch...80% of the time the ball doesn't touch the bat...there's a 30 second delay...they show a shot of the manager in the dugout...a kid eating a hot dog in the stands...the pitcher comes back onto the mound...he prepares for the next pitch...the batter steps out of the box...adjusts his helmet...spits...slowly comes back into the box, holding his hand back to the umpire until he can get completely settled in...another pitch...Ball...outside...one announcer regales the other with an account of his visit to a steak house the last time he was in Philidelphia for a Phillies game...shot of a kid with a big styrofoam finger not paying any attention to the game...another pitch...foul...count is 1-1...

...and then you seriously wonder whether you're happy with your life.

Doesn't that adequately sum up the experience of watching a baseball game? Did I leave anything out? Maybe the two-dozen shots of the Goodyear Blimp? Maybe 8% of baseball involves someone actually engaged in some sort of physical activity. And that goes down to 3% if you don't count spitting, crotch-grabbing, or the annoying between-pitch habits each player has.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm a big fan of baseball. Played Little League my entire childhood. You just have to admit it is a dull, slow-moving sport.

Go Cubs.