Memoirs of a scooter owner

It's been about 2 years now since I bought Pepe' and joined the distinguished ranks of scooter ownership. My, how the time flies. I thought this was a good time to look back and review what I've learned since that fateful decision, both for my own amusement and for your edification.

• By my pedestrian calculations, if Pepe' can last another year without needing any major repairs he will have paid for himself in gas money. $1900.
• For whatever reason wives and mothers are solidly against motorcylces, but they're perfectly fine with scooters. Which is funny because the only difference between the two is the location of the motor and I'm just as likely to get pounded on my 50cc scooter as I am a 750cc motorcycle. I just won't be going as fast when it happens. This apparent disconnect in the female mind is due to the fact that scooters are perceived as being totally wimpy (more on this below).
• Scooters are totally wimpy.
• Let me rephrase that. Most scooters are totally wimpy. Many scooters are just as powerful and fast as the top motorcycles. Mine? I'll just say my wife frequently mistakes the sound of its motor for the neighbor's weed-whacker.
• You can get the best parking anywhere when you have a scooter. It's like having a handicapped logo on your license plate, only better because you can park on walkways.
• I haven't received this much simultaneous ridicule and admiration from people around me for a decision in my life since I was an LDS missionary. Really. Many people laugh at you. Many people tell you how smart you are. Many people laugh at you then later tell you how smart you are.
• There are no other similarities between owning a scooter and being a missionary.
• Along with the ridicule/admiration comment, the ratio of people who laugh at you versus the people who tell you how smart you are and how they wish they had a scooter decreases substantially when gas prices go up. I haven't been laughed at for about 7 months now, but I've had a dozen people tell me they want to get a scooter.
• People in Cedar City are unaccostomed to sharing the road with motorcycles, scooters, and bicycles. These strange, alien conveyances confuse them and they are unsure whether the usual laws of the road apply when encountered with one. Because of this you must plan on getting cut-off, tailgated, and merged-into every time you turn on that ignition.
• I really, really want one of those German WWI helmets with the spike on top to replace my current helment. And a cape.

All in all buying Pepe' was a very good decision. He's just about paid for himself in gas savings, is perfect for my daily home-work-home-work-home commute (I usually go home for lunch), can park anywhere, and is fun to ride. If anyone out there is thinking about getting a scooter I would definitely recommend it, provided you: are aware you probably won't be able to use it from December to February(unless you are in Cali); get at least a 150cc (you have to fork out $200 more and get your motorcycle license, but the extra power is worth it); and are secure in your self-image (One great thing about being married is you aren't as worried about being "cool" anymore. You don't have to impress anyone.)

In honor of 2 years of scooter-dom, here's the Scrubs "Ring of Fire" clip.