Career Fair Burger

Hey. We're back from San Francisco. I'll get pictures up of that. Someday.

In the meantime, I just got back from another Career Fair. I don't feel like writing the usual long-winded recap, so I'll just give some statistics:

• Approximate number of times I used the phrase, "Great, shoot me over a resume and we'll take it from there": 95


• Favorite sight at the career fair: the brave girl meandering across the ballroom alone, refusing to make eye contact with anyone while unashamedly singing out loud Ace of Base's I Saw the Sign.
• Percentage of students I talked to who were Accounting majors: 86%
  
• Inanimate object that brought the most entertainment over the 8 hours we were there: a gray, rubber pad placed over some extension cords in the walkway in front of our table to prevent people from tripping, which ended up tripping at least 30 people itself.
  
• How funny it is, on a scale of 1-10, to see someone trip over that rubber mat while you're standing at the table: 5.
  
• How funny it is, on a scale of 1-10, to see someone trip over that rubber mat out of the corner of your eye while you're in the middle of a serious career conversation with a student: 10.
  
• Favorite moment of the career fair: hucking a piece of salt-water taffy at my co-worker's groin while he was on his cell phone, then laughing hysterically as he doubled over in pain. Yes, I am the first contact most people have with our company.
  
• Most interesting SWAG giveaway: Nature's Skin and their "Free Brow Waxing".
  
• Best SWAG giveaway: Portable music players with headphones from some accounting firm.
  
• Worst SWAG giveaway: Nature's Skin and their "Free Brow Waxing".
  
• Most disturbing image: The tough, manly marine in full camo getting Nature's Skin's free brow waxing.
  
• Most awkward moment: Explaining a position to a candidate who has graduated and is gainfully employed by the university we were at and just as his supervisor walks up he says the words:
  "Yeah, I'd definitely be interested in looking into that". Wow. This rated pretty high on Awkward Things to Say Just As Someone Walks Up scale, just above "Hey, you know Doug? Well I just peed on his car" and just below "You know Doug? I just killed his cat."
• And of course, Number of times I shook my head incredulously after talking to a particularly clueless student, then realized I was just as bad when I was one (only worse, as I never actually made it to a Career Fair): 6

Job Searching Faux Pas number 4

Having your dad or wife check on the job for you.

These aren't uncommon: I get a call from someone asking about a particular job. After giving them all the background I begin to ask about their work experience when they say "Oh, it's not for me, it's for my husband. Um...can he come in for an interview?" Or the other variety: dad dragging his teenage kid into my office, telling me how he/she is a hard worker, would really like to work for our company, and that they (the parent) knows the wife of the brother of the CFO from the PTA while the kid stands silent and awkward in the corner gazing at my demotivation poster.

The logic behind both is ridiculous, of course. If the person won't take the initiative to talk to us themselves why should we think they'd have the initiative to actually do the job? I mean, when a wife is calling for her husband my immediate assumption is that the guy is sitting in the living room not 10 feet from her eating Funyuns, playing Madden 08, and wondering why his wife just can't accept him for who he is. With the teenager it's pretty much the same assumption, only swap Madden for Guitar Hero 2.

There's a place for people like that. It's called the public sector. Ba-Doom CHA!

(That was a joke. Only a joke. No angry e-mails please.)