Sweaters: Panacea Against All Evils

So when the Menendez brothers went on trial for killing their own parents they employed a little-known public relations strategem and appeared in sweaters, hoping the snuggly softness would impact the jury.


For, as you know, it is impossible to think bad about someone in a sweater.


Saddam Hussien's lawyer tried it as well at the beginning of his trial. Alas, I couldn't find a picture, but remember seeing it on TV. Just imagine the great despot in a grey cocoon of adorableness.


But hold on -- Chris Brown, the R&B star recently charged with the felony assault of his girlfriend Rihanna -- has upped the ante. Not content with just the sweater, whatever PR Firm Brown is using apparently decided to go straight for America's jugular and sport a BOW-TIE. The result is breathtaking:

Ladies and gentlemen, does this really look like a man who is prone to violence? Prone to cuddliness, perhaps, but violence? Fie!

It works. I've forgiven him already.

But now I am intrigued as to what the next step on the image makeover excalation scale will be. How do you top sweater and bow-tie? Here's my guess:

Woolen mittens.

And after that, Hello Kitty backpack.