Everyone Hide Your Celebrities

First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett, now the King of Pop himself. All in what, a 3 day span? If I was a famous person, I'd be worried right about now.

If it does happen again this month, here are some completely baseless and arbitrary odds on who the next celeb with a ticket to the Hollywood in the sky would be:

Sean Connery : 10 - 1
Dolly Parton : - 40 - 1
Carrot Top : 75 - 1
Sir Ian McKlellan : 25 - 1
Mick Jagger : 7 - 1
Gene Hackman : 100 - 1
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the II : 30 - 1
That one guy who played the Geometry teacher on Better Off Dead: 3 - 1

I've heard a few people say "these things come in threes". Do they? Does anyone have any other examples? I need more proof before I buy into this superstition. Though I am completely willing to.

And can I just say with Michael Jackson - I was never a big fan and thought he was as strange as the next person, but come on, the guy was abused physically and psychologically as a kid then became a global icon by the time most of us are starting general eds in college. How many of us could have gone through that and come out balanced, well-adjusted individuals?

Rest in peace Jacko.

I Need a Kobe Face

If you've been following the NBA Finals then you know Kobe Bryant has a devastating new weapon he's unleashed on his Finals opponents. Here it is:

He's come up with this brand new sneer for use just in the Finals. I've heard it called the Badger, the Beaver, the Tree Chipper, and even the Bruce Springsteen. I have another name for it:

Spectacular.

Really. I think this is a great idea. I mean, you bring out your best wine when old friends stop by, Grandma breaks out the China for Thanksgiving dinner, Notre Dame wears their special green jerseys when they want to get blown out in style -- so why not have a unique, custom made sneer use on special occasions?

I'm working on mine right now. And frankly, you should be too. Here are three I came up with just since I started writing this post:

This is The Caveman.

The Crazy Ivan.

And finally, the White Kobe.

Can't wait to bust this out in a real life situation. Maybe next time we're playing Scrabble and I hit the triple word score. Or in a work meeting after I make an especially astute observation.



Update: - The Lakers just won the Finals. I think we all know who gets the credit for this one: The Beaver.

The Last Month

Here's a recap of the past month in a minute or less. Or your money back.

My brother Adam and I did the Salem Springs Tri back in May. Here is a great shot of our pale, quasi-hairy chests after the swim.

We haven't seen each other much in the past 10 years, so it was really great to be able to do this together. This was Adam's first tri. He did great.


I love this course. Great scenery, great atmosphere, nice park for the spectators, probably my favorite race venue.

There are some ugly looking kids running around though.

Here's a picture of a picture I drew of Amy and I. The picture I took of the picture didn't transfer so well though.

And one of Bono. That big white thing at the top is the light of the ceiling fan reflecting off the glass, not a bald spot.

Last weekend our Ultimate Frisbee team played in the Utah Summer Games. We did really well, then lost to BYU in the championship game and ended up with the silver medal. I'm still upset about this.

Just for some reference, if Ultimate Frisbee in Utah was a Disney sports movie, our team would be the lovable group of rag-tag kids with no money (in this case university funding and support) who play only for love of the game. BYU, Utah State, and the U would be the rich kids who ride around on their expensive bicycles making fun of the poor kids for not having matching uniforms.

Only in this case, the rich kids won. There is no justice outside of Disney movies.

"You play ball like a GIRL!"

On a quick side note, why is it that so many people despise BYU? And I don't mean the team, but the school itself? I mean, during the tournament the snide "they're better Mormon's than us" and "settle down, zoobie, this isn't church ball" comments flowed like caffeine-free Mountain Dew. From every team too. Even I couldn't stand them, until I asked myself why and realized I didn't have an answer. They weren't being jerks or anything, just playing really, really well.

The only theory I can come up with is that people have a very keen sense of others trying to make them feel inferior (whether it's real or imagined). So even though 99 of 100 BYU students may be friendly, unassuming people, all it takes is that one holier-than-thou doofus to taint popular perception. This could be a whole other post though.

Just another burden one must bear if attending The One, True University, I suppose.

Moving on.

• We've planted a pretty big garden this year, hoping this year grows something other than pumpkins and earwigs.
• Here's a prayer Katie (our 2 year old) gave at breakfast the other day in that monotone, matter-of-fact way toddlers have:
  
  “Dear Hev’ly Fadder, mommy and daddy are driving me crazy. I have pasta. Name Jesus Crise, aaamen.”
• As our neighborhood isn't especially social and we've been living here 5 years now, we decided to try and do a neighborhood barbecue. It actually went really well. It's harder to despise a guy who cuts down all his trees so he can park his '85 Trans Am on the lawn after you've met him and know he's a really nice guy. Not impossible, mind you, but tougher.
• Things are going well. I still have work (which we’re thankful for), we still have a house (also thankful), our kids don’t have any chronic diseases or head-lice (thankful), and we have a troop of college kids moving in next door in August (not thankful for).

That is all.