Monday, May 18, 2009

It's not just me...

A couple days ago astronauts attempted a dangerous, high-risk spacewalk in an attempt to repair the Hubble Telescope. Unfortunately they were delayed more than two hours and had to cancel some other maintenance because they couldn't get a one-inch bolt loose.

Here's the full story: http://cbs5.com/national/nasa.atlantis.hubble.2.1011612.html.

This story makes me happy, almost giddy even.

It's good to hear elite professionals with the backing of the brightest minds in our country have the same problem working on their space shuttle that I do when I change the oil or replace the serpentine belt on my Corolla.

I hope the astronaut also skinned his knuckles on the engine casing, swore, then accidentally kicked over the oil pan spilling dirty oil throughout the far reaches of space.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Manny being Manny



*************************************************
SPORTS POSTING NOTICE
(see original notice at beginning of Jan. 12 posting)
*************************************************


Late last week Manny Ramirez was given a 50 game suspension for testing positive for a female fertility drug commonly used to mask steroid use. The revelation has sent shockwaves of astonishment through the baseball community, giving rise to questions like "How could this happen?", "How long has this been going on?" and, of course, "How could one of baseball's premier players cheat like this?"

Then there's my question: "How the crap is anyone surprised by this anymore?"

I mean...Really? In 2009 we're surprised to hear a baseball player has used steriods? Really?

After Giambi, Bonds, Clemens, Palmero, McGwire, Sosa, A-Rod, the Mitchell Report, MLB's unreleased list of 100 players who tested positive, etc. etc. etc. -- we're still surprised to hear someone else has juiced? Really? We're that stupid?

If you were in any way surprised by this revelation, I can help you. Here is my two-step, reality inducing program. It is simple, but may be painful. Here goes:

1) Think of any player between 1994 and now. Got one? Good.

2) Chances are, THAT PERSON USED PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS at one time or another. Now go on and live your life accordingly.

Is this a blanket overgeneralization? Of course. But at this point we should only be surprised when we hear a certain player didn't juice up.

Guess what else? MOST NFL PLAYERS ARE ON PED's. College too. And the NBA. For some reason we don't make a big deal about this though. Just baseball.

Here are a few other "revelations" to help the reality-impaired:

McDonald's hamburger isn't actually meat. Not cow meat, anyway.

Most politicians care more about their careers and personal comfort than the country or you.

A country going billions of dollars into debt to take care of a problem that arose from going billions of dollars into debt isn't a good idea.