Saturday, February 14, 2009

I am now a raging hypocrite


That's right, we got a cell phone.
I know.

While there are numerous reasons for this abrupt about-face in my long held anti-cell phone philosophy (i.e. it comes in handy for work, need it for my church calling, etc.), it mainly gravitates around the fact that we could get unlimited minutes for 10 bucks a month.

If anyone is unaware of my prior anti-cell phone sentiment and why this is such a shocking development, I would refer them to the lengthy diatribe I wrote a year or so back: Why I Hate Cell Phones.

So how do I reconcile this betrayal of my cherished beliefs? With Themickel's Cell Phone Owner Creed. Here goes:
  1. I promise to never answer my cell phone only to tell the person I can't talk right now.
  2. I promise that, barring an emergency, I will never answer my cell phone while out at dinner with friends or family, and if I do, said friends and family can kick me in the groin as hard as they want.
  3. I promise I will never be that moron who is on his cell phone at the restaraunt, grocery store, bank, movie line, etc. talking 3 times louder than normal and completely oblivious to the waiter, cashier, teller, or 15 year old selling the ticket in front of him while 20 other people are waiting in line.
  4. I promise that if I ever use the phrase: "Sorry, we were going to call you back but we had to wait for our Thursday 2:30 AM to 3:25 AM unlimited minute slot", I will stop whatever I am doing, lock myself in a closet, and seriously rethink my life.
  5. The cell phone is for my convenience, not for the convenience of other people.

I am confident that if everyone who owned a cell phone swore to this creed the world would be a better place.

I'm sure there are more. I'll add them as they come up.



Thursday, February 12, 2009

The unthinkable has happened...

I better hold off on the explanation until I can get a photo.

In the meantime, I'll go ahead and allow the suspense to grow and burgeon, just so it can come crashing down in cruel anti-climax later.