XTERRA

Holy schnikies. I forgot how hard this race is. I'm not dead, which is good, but I'm as close as I've been since...well...LAST YEAR'S XTerra.


This year the water was warm enough to go without the wetsuit. I decided to go for it, as I don't especially enjoy wearing the bat-suit if I'm not fighting crime.

The crazy thing about XTerra is that it's the same distance as every other tri I've done. The only difference is that distance is ALL UPHILL. SERIOUSLY, WHAT KIND OF SADIST DESIGNED THIS COURSE!?! IT JUST KEEPS GOING UP AND UP!! Once your limp, battered body falls off the bike at T2 you find comfort in the fact that now all you have to do is a simple, relaxing 5K - BUT NO!!! IT'S UPHILL TOO! I HATE XTERRA! I #%@!& HATE IT!!!

Sorry about that. Just had a relapse of the bike ride.

No, XTerra was fun. Just to give you an idea of how hard this course is, the bike portion takes about 1:45. That's 20 minutes longer than the entire Bear Lake and Salem tris took me. Needless to say, I underestimated the course and it kicked my butt again, humbling me and making me see I'm not in as good of shape as I thought. I didn't puke and I finished with a decent time, but I'm still a little disappointed. Oh well - still good times.

Amy is great at taking candid, random shots of interesting people wherever we go; the type of people you look at and your mind automatically comes up with an entire backstory for. For example - this is Bosco. When not doing triathlon, Bosco enjoys whaling and flying his red WWI biplane, which has an Iron Cross and the handle "The Baron" on the side. Bosco is a fierce competitor, but someone you can relax and enjoy a mug of ale with at the local tavern once the race is over.

A pre-race shot, when I'm not yet covered with dirt and rank man-sweat and my wife and daughter don't recoil in disgust when I try to kiss them.

The fam. My brother Gid came out for this one, which was fun. I have no idea what we were talking about when this picture was taken.

Katie on the beach, take 3.

Me after the race. I've realized that all the tri pics I have are either before or after the race, which don't really convey the experience. Maybe I can get a helmet-cam going.

Having gotten sick last time I didn't get to experience everything that goes on during the bike ride. It is HARD CORE. People crashing, arguing, immobilized by exhaustion, passing and getting passed on a perilous, single-track trail. It also rained on us, making the rocks even slippier and more dangerous. I passed one racer just in front of a bridge who had a large gash in his forehead and blood running down his face, looking like like grim Death himself.

All in all XTerra was a lot of fun and I'm glad I did it again. Really I just wanted to prove to myself that I could. I do like the mountain bike portion of it - there's a thrill of danger and adreniline at each downhill portion that you don't get on a road bike.

I'm not sure if I'll do it again next year. While the challenge draws you in, it just gets too crowded at parts (in the swim and the bike). I prefer expending my energy in a triathlon doing the actual event, not worrying about having to pass or get passed during the bike or dodging other swimmers. Great location though.

Tri's

After trying and liking them last year, I've continued doing triathlon this summer as well. There have been 3 so far: the St. George Tri in May, Salem Springs in June, (best tri website I've seen), and the Bear Lake Brawl, also in June.


Here are some pickies, starting with the St. George Tri:


I love this course. It's actually in Hurricane, not St. George. I guess they changed it because St. George Tri is more impressive than Hurricane tri, just as the skydiving outpost we're going to calls themselves Skydive Zion instead of Skydive Hurricane. Can't say that I blame them.


Poor Hurricane. The red-headed stepchild of obscure, Southern Utah towns.

Anyways, it's kind of a special place for me. The first tri I ever did was here, back when I didn't know if I could do one without dying, and some of the feeling of triumph I got from that first victory still pervades the place today. On top of that, it's a beautiful course set in a man-made reservoir in the middle of a red, rocky desert. Very picturesque. Almost like a mini Lake-Powell. But without all the urine and house-boat sludge in the water.





The course has with an absurdly long, steep hill I call "The Beast". It's also the earliest Utah triathlon, so something like 1,400 people come down to participate.



Even though it's only May, and even though it's only about 10:00 by the time you get to the run, right around the 2nd mile it gets so hot (most of the course is on the sandy desert where the sun reflects off the red sand) that you wonder why you were ever stupid enough to do this tri in the first place.

The obligatory Katie-being-cute photo. I don't know who she's waving to - all that was over there was a wide, empty lake. Unless she's seeing the leprechaun again...

Next up, Salem Springs.

This may be my favorite tri location so far. Despite the fact that I grew up about 15 minutes away, I had no idea this place (Salem) existed, nor that it was so cool. Seriously, I'm thinking of retiring out here.

Anyways, the half-mile swim is in a large pond in a park redolent of the wonderful parks we saw in London. The 12 mile bike ride and the 3 mile run is through the surrounding neighborhoods, which are relatively hill-free. The Salem has been going for 6 years now and is increasing in popularity, though still small enough to not feel overcrowded like the St. George tri.

Pre-race action shot.

So about 20 minutes before the race I was pumping up my bike tire when I heard the one sound every triathlete dreads.

PPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

And it wasn't just, pppppssssshhhh, like a small leak or something. It was an all out, 'there-is-now-more-air-in-the-dark-reaches-of-space-than-there-is-in-your-tire' kind of PFSH. The entire nozzle had blown out.

I was pretty bummed. 20 minutes wasn't enough time to get an entirely new tube, and I didn't bring one to begin with. I had just resolved myself to a DNF when a helpful fellow racer came up and told me a vendor was selling them just up the hill. Long story short, I was able to buy a new tube, pump up my tire, and finish race prep just in time to start. It was awesome. Thank you random triathlete-man.

A lot of tris have free massages at the end. You just have to wait in a long line. This time I decided to do it and found it was definitely worth it.

They also had a chiropractor there. It was my first time for that too. It would take very little for someone to convince me that he was legitimately trying to break my neck.

We met our good friends the Bod's there. Here are said Bod's.

Now for Bear Lake.

The Bear Lake Brawl was pretty fun. By far the smallest tri I've done. I'm used to having to show up 2 hours before they start to get set up because of the crowds. This one had less than 200 racers, so I could have shown up 20 minutes before and been all right.

The fun thing about Bear Lake is that it's super shallow. They started the swim a good 50 yards into the lake, but my entire torso was still out of the water. For the entire first leg of the swim you could actually walk on the lake bottom (and quite a few people did), the first time I've ever seen anything like that.

The fam came out for this one. Including the dog.

Here I am in my wetsuit, or "the Batsuit" as I like to call it. These things are uncomfortable. Though not as uncomfortable as hypothermia would be, I'm sure.

Mom and baby on the beach.

Baby being all cute on the beach, again. Not sure what she's looking at. Again.

So that's my tri update. I've got two more left this year: the Kokopelli in September, and the XTerra Mountain Sport in Ogden this weekend. Long-time readers of Blog o' Mickel (both of you) may remember XTerra as the tri in which I expelled electric-blue vomit all over the bike course last year.

That's right - I'm doing it again. Wish me luck.

A few more...

Here are a few more pics that didn't make it into the trip posting. I thought they deserved to...

This is my father-in-law gazing victoriously off into the distance after dominating my nephew Connor in a round of Death Match kiddie-pool wrestling. At least I think that's what happened.

This was a little boy at Raging Waters who kept crawling into the middle of this tube to make the baby laugh. This kind of thing happens all the time. Should I be alarmed that boys are already showing off for my daughter?

The women of the Pattberg clan embarking on their favorite pasttime: Yard Sale-ing. I'm serious, they'll spend nearly an entire Saturday doing it. While I'm not adverse to the occasional yard sale, my overall feeling for the experience is summed up quite nicely by this Strong Bad E-mail.

Presidential Debates

You know what would be awesome? If the presidential debates were some sort of forum where the candidates engaged in candid, intelligent discussion regarding their stances on the issues that face America today.

Oh well. I guess we'll have to settle for the current format.

By the way, I've been watching more of Ron Paul and I have to say I'm definitely intrigued by the man. He does have some novel, interesting ideas. Too bad there's no way he'll get the nomination.

Man I hate politics.

It's official...

We're going skydiving. September 1st, Hurricane, Utah. Anybody who wants to come is welcome.

I think I just peed my pants a little from excitement.

Cubs win! Cubs win!

Terrific news, everyone. The Cubs are currently in first place in the NL Central. I have to celebrate this while I can, because it probably won't last for long. In fact, this post could very well become obsolete by the end of the day.




While we're talking Cubs, here's a nice wallpaper I found on the Bartman incident. If you're not sure what the Bartman incident is, google "Steve Bartman" or "Bartman Ball". Wikipedia probably has something too.

And of course, what Cubs blogpost would be complete without a link to one of Will Ferrell's Harry Caray clips: Space: the Infinite Frontier. MisterJ also does an excellent Harry Caray impression.

Best line: "It's a simple question, doctor. Would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs?"

Reason #8 Why it's Better to be a Man Than a Woman

UNASHAMED NUDITY.

So the wife and I went swimming the other day and the conversation steered towards the community shower in the men's locker room (a.k.a. the "Tree of Life" in Utah circles). In just about every men's locker room at every large college, rec. center, swimming pool I've been to they've had this. While it took a little while to get used to at first (teenage years), it hasn't really bothered me since and I now willingly go starkers without a second thought.

She, however, was shocked to find out that men all shower in the same room.

I, on the other hand, was shocked to find out that the women don't.

No, they have their own little stalls where they can shower in absolute privacy, away from the prying eyes of other women.

Men don't have this problem. The other day I was in said community shower with the CEO of my company. We talked business just like we would have if we were in his office. And it wasn't awkward at all. In fact, you can pass a flabby, wrinkly, naked old-man with hairy moles in the locker room with nothing more than a "hey, how's it going?" and it's not weird at all.

Another example: My wife had a best friend in college. They were very close. They lived together, in the same room, for over a year. Every time they changed clothes they would lock themselves in the bathroom. Around the same time I moved in with this best friend's fiance. I think it was about two days before we started mooning each other on a regular basis.

I don't get it. Why are women like this? Aren't they supposed to be the more caring, compassionate gender? Shouldn't they feel comfortable with their bodies around other women if it's MEN who are judgemental and only care about looks, as so many women claim?

This only goes to further my theory that women don't dress up, put on make up, color their hair, artificially enlarge their breasts, or do the dozen other ridiculous things they do to look good for men. They do it for OTHER WOMEN. For the most part, anyway.

Me, I'll willingly moon just about anyone in the right situation and not feel in the least bit ashamed of my hairy wassum.

And that's why it's better to be a man.