My Dilemma

Everyday I labor under a dilemma. Though I love the company and the people I work for, I don't especially care for the industry we're in. In fact, I abhor it.

Insurance.

Is there a more vile, dull industry out there?

Now I'll be the first one to admit that insurance provides a valuable service to society (even the Egyptians had a type of insurance program). I'll also admit that my specific personality type makes me unfairly biased against it (to me banking, securities, taxes, insurance and the like are boorish, intellectually unprofitable pursuits). But these two concessions notwithstanding, I still can't help but regard the entire industry as a colossal bureaucratic wasteland whose original function has long since been forgotten in the name of greed and profits.

And that's not even including health insurance companies.

Have you ever actually read your homeowner's policy in its entirety? Your auto policy? A business policy? Here are some fun tidbits you might not be aware of:

• Say a windstorm picks up and blows over a tree in your backyard, causing it to crash into your house for $15,000 in damage. Your insurance company will not cover this. On the other hand, if a gang of vagabonds come by one night in a pick-up truck and steal your tree, that IS covered.


• If you own a business and park a boat in your empty parking lot behind your building, then a telephone pole falls over and completely demolishes that boat, it is NOT covered under your policy. Yet if a complete stranger parks his boat in your parking lot and the same thing happens, it IS covered. Under YOUR policy.


• Taking the prior example a step further: If YOU park your boat in some poor shmoe's parking lot and a telephone pole falls on it and the boat is 26 feet and 3 inches long, it is NOT covered. But if said boat is 25 feet and 11 inches long, it IS covered. If it is 25 feet, 11 inches long, and says "Big Frank's Fish, Chips, and Harbor Tours" in blue writing on the side, it is NOT covered.


• Assume you have a different Named Insured who has a BAP (Business Auto Policy) in which endorsement Symbol 3 (Owned Private Passenger Autos) is used to trigger liability, comprehensive, and collision coverage. If the insured acquires a panel truck, there is no automatic coverage because the panel truck does not qualify as a private passenger auto, unless specifically endorsed by using the QW30 Inland/Marine Additional Coverage form, (or, for clients located in California, Oklahoma, and some parts of Canada, the Accord 10W390 Umbrella Endorsement Document).

Ok, that last once wasn't about your auto or homeowner's policy. I just threw it in there to give you a feel for all the crap I have to study.

Can you believe this stuff? And these were just the examples that quickly came to mind, which are pretty tame compared to some of the other outlandish contradictions of common sense I've come across in the 3 years I've worked for the Man.

I mean, is learning this kind of information really what anyone should want to do with their life? How does it help anyone? Shouldn't insurance be designed to help people, not entangle them in a nightmare of forms, procedures, and bureaucratic drivel in the hopes that they will give up trying to get anything done and your company can profit? And this is just Property and Casualty insurance. Health insurance companies are far worse, even criminal as far as I'm concerned.

I guess what I like least about insurance is the fact that it's one of those industries where, whenever you are engaging in business with one of its representatives, you have that sinking feeling that you are about to be/have already been ripped off. So you're always on guard. It's the same feeling you get from car salesmen, mortgage companies, mechanics, and to a lesser degree, Christmas Tree salesmen.

Should it really be like that? Do you really want to be expecting a company you pay money to in order to receive a specific service to be looking for any and every loophole possible to rip you off in the name of profits?

So that's my dilemma. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an exciting chapter on blanket coverages in a typical commercial property policy to peruse.