Been out of town

Hey, I'm back. I've been in Vegas at a Society of Human Resource Convention. I'll get a post up on that soon.

Actually, let me rephrase that.

Someday, I will get a post up on that.

Is it wrong that I take a cruel, vindictive pleasure in this?

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/08/paris.hilton.ap/index.html

The part about Paris Hilton getting dragged out of a courtroom crying and screaming, that is.

I guess I need to start out by saying I despise Paris Hilton. And not just her, but this whole breed of human-wasteland-as-celebrity that we've produced as a society (i.e. Spears, Lohan, etc.). With all the serious, messed up things happening in the world the fact that we pay so much attention to these shallow, intellectually vapid dolts actually makes me vomit in my own mouth a little. Millions displaced and dying in Darfur? Who cares, Paris Hilton got another DUI - slap it on the front page! The president of Russia is ticked off about the U.S. missle Defense Shield? That's not a story, Lindsey Lohan just went back into rehab!

Do you realize we were within a George W. Bush gaffe of starting a second Cold War with Russia just a few days ago? Do you know what CNN.com's headline story was? Hilton Reports to Jail.

Anyways, I've gone off on a tangent here. Back to my original subject.

After hearing that the tart in question had been let off on "house-arrest" due to an unspecified "medical-condition" (read: she wouldn't eat jail food), I was extremely disturbed. I mean, would any of us - the poor, insignificant lumpen of the proletariat - get the same concession if a judge had specifically made orders against it? Yet here she was, three days into her already shortened term, going home to spend the rest of her "punishment" in her mansion. Harsh.

Fortunately the judge brought her back into the courtroom and ordered her to serve the original sentence of 45 days in its entirety, in jail, restoring an iota of my faith in the American legal system and California's government as he did so. Good for you, unnamed judge.

It's pretty low in me, I admit, but I did get a certain sense of satisfaction in reading this. Can you believe she actually called out for her mother in the courtroom, like a spoiled 8-year old fighting with her brother? Perhaps justice isn't always for sale in this country.

Enjoy the food, Paris.

Another grevious sin to add to my list...

This is awesome. There's an old man who lives just a block or two away from us who gets absolutely livid when people 'speed' by his house. Two problems though: 1) he lives on a road that is practically the lone outlet for over 2000 people and is therefore very busy, and 2) his definition of speeding is anything over 25 mph. Over 20 mph, actually. He'll shake his fist, jump out into the road, and even throw brooms and shovels at speeding cars to get them to slow down. We've driven by him going 25 before and still get the condemning pump of the fist. What's even more fun is the fact that he's the minister at the neighboring church.

Anyways, up till now only those who live in our neck of the woods have been aware of this very special man (affectionately referring to him as "the crazy old man"), but as of today his place as a local celebrity has been sealed forever, as he made the front page of the newspaper. Check it out:

Minister: Speeding is a Sin

Keep in mind this is the same paper that once put a career fair (and the back of my head) on the front page, but still...quite an accomplishment.

Just to give you an idea of this guy, imagine Kramer in his 70's. And not funny. And the minister of a church. Here's my favorite quote from the article:

He said the people who complain about him and tell the police they're not speeding are liars and therefore sinners.

"It is not Christian," he said.

Ah, yes. Because nothing shows Christian love like following a complete stranger into his place of work and screaming at him in front of co-workers, supervisors, and customers for going 30 mph past your house. That's the way to convert the world.